A field guide for when life gets messy, mortifying, and magnificently human. Let’s just say it, sometimes in life, you absolutely, unequivocally shit your pants. I mean the kind of moment where something goes wrong in a way you cannot hide, polish, finesse, or pretend didn’t happen. You blow it. You misunderstand the assignment. You show […]
You Shit Your Pants. Now What? Read More »
Motivation is often treated like a personality trait. Some people “have it,” others don’t. But psychologically, motivation is not a character flaw or a moral virtue. It’s a response. And like all responses, it depends on what the mind is responding to. At its core, motivation requires direction. Without a clear vision, effort becomes diffuse,
The Psychology of Clear Vision: Why Motivation Needs Something to Aim At Read More »
Have you ever kept defending something long after it stopped feeling true? You feel it in your bones that it no longer fits who you’ve grown to be, but you keep going because you chose that path. You did it to yourself. If you change your mind now, what does that say about you? I
Permission to Change Your Mind Read More »
Read that again. Most dissatisfaction isn’t about circumstances. It’s about contortion. It’s about the version of yourself you have to maintain in order to keep everything running. The edits. The constant self-monitoring. The parts of you that stay hidden because they don’t fit the shape of the life you’ve built. You don’t hate your job,
You Don’t Hate Your Life. You Hate Who You Have to Be to Live It. Read More »
Many of us move through life feeling like something about us isn’t quite right; something needs to be fixed. It’s usually a subtle feeling or “something I should be working on.” We’re never quite where we want to be. We’re just not enough…yet. That was certainly the case for me. While it’s true that growth
You Don’t Need to be Fixed (You Need to be Honest) Read More »
Most people move through their lives without realizing how much they’re missing. Not because life isn’t happening, but because they are not fully aware of it while it unfolds. Awareness is the skill that changes that. Awakening Your Awareness There is a subtle difference between existing and truly living. Most of us move through our days
Awareness: The Skill That Changes Everything Read More »
Self-abandonment feels like accommodation, compromise, compliance. It begins with small, reasonable adjustments. Don’t say that—it will make things harder. Don’t want that—it’s unrealistic. Be flexible. Be grateful. Be easy. Over time, these small acts of self-silencing are rewarded. You’re praised for being low-maintenance. Reliable. Adaptable. Strong. And slowly, almost imperceptibly, you learn that fitting in
How Self-Abandonment Becomes Normal Read More »
If you pay attention to your thoughts, you’ll see that they are continuous. Constant. Endless. That’s what your brain does. It thinks. But what does it think about? What occupies most of your brain’s time, energy, and attention? It’s yourself. Nearly half of our waking hours are spent in mind-wandering, much of it centered on
The Stories You Rehearse Read More »
Most of us know what it feels like to be asked—directly or indirectly—to stay small; to be less intense, less curious, less honest, less alive. Sometimes the request is obvious. Sometimes it’s wrapped in politeness, concern, or “just being practical.” And often, we recognize it immediately because it costs us something. We feel the dull
The Cost of Staying Comfortable Read More »
Nobody likes to feel uncomfortable. Especially not in social situations. We don’t want other people to know we feel uncomfortable and once someone does feel that way, everyone can feel it. “You could cut the tension with a knife” is a common saying for that reason. One thing that has humbled me over the years
The Courage to Be Uncomfortable Read More »